A Devotional

I think of you often.

Finding myself painfully still as I silently evoke our sultry memories.

Quietly summoning your obscurity into my mind’s existence;

Pleading with your shadow to linger a moment longer while I revel in the warmth my body once felt.

Feeling the corners of my mouth curling up into satisfaction at your obedience to stay.

How quickly you escaped me without warning.

I once lured you in against your better judgement.

Enticing you as though I were a Siren calling to you from the depths of my soul;

Watching intently as you swam through the crashing whitewash of my convictions to reach me.

My desire for you growing wildly at your acquiescence;

My punishment for loving you being the realization that you could never allow yourself to truly grasp my nature;

The absolute essence of my existence.

I desperately believed I could give your wounds rest in being consumed by me.

My discernment of your own cunning intentions clouded;

The wavering potency of my voice to captivate you.

I see you now deliberately circling me in open water.

Patiently skimming the surface’s tension as I thrash and drown in an ocean of my own tears;

Gasping for one last breath to waste on pleading with you;

Knowing the moment my body goes limb and I sink into the abyss of my agony that you’ll carry on as though I never existed.

You underestimate me and foolishly assume my fragility.

I taught myself to risk everything by suffering in pain over dwelling for a lifetime in regret.

I’ll continue to speak you into the existence of my memories.

I’ll allow myself to linger in the moments you abandoned.

I’ll savor you into my next life and become your deity.

I will never allow you the satisfaction of indulging in the intimacy I once filled you with.