A Vivid Memory

There are nights I violently wake screaming at you to get the fuck off of me.

I slowly come to my senses and the room becomes calm again;

Tasting blood as though it were pooling in my mouth.

I imagine crimson painted over my teeth as I lie still, smiling into the emptiness;

The dullness of what little light lingers reflecting off of richly stained enamel in darkness;

One last defiant act.

How it used to be;

When you’d hover over my body and blood spilled from my leering lips.

You didn’t realize then how I was being transformed;

The liquid flowing through my veins becoming ichor.

I’d intentionally spit the remnants of the wounds you inflicted back into your face as you kneeled next to me;

Demanding I give you absolution.

It’s with you I learned what an arrogant act forgiveness is.

Those begging of it only doing so to cleanse themselves momentarily;

Their remorse never having been dragged over their hearts;

Fleeting the moment their lies escape their mouths.

Those offering forgiveness only being self-serving;

A conflict with their own superiority complex.

Crawling away from you I released my anguish from my bloodied fingertips into the earth;

Planting it there to take root and consume the home I made;

Keeping you immured inside.

Have you tasted the bitterness of the blood I left behind?

Does the crushing sound of my body being thrown into your walls echo through the empty space I once flooded with laughter?

What gratification do you get out of trying to torment me now?

What entitlement do you feel you have to me?

I’ve walked through the rooms of the memories my heart keeps;

Burning sage to purge myself of you.

Anointing my body with oil and purifying myself of your curses.

I find I’m screaming less often in my sleep;

Though I’m certain you’ve only started screaming more often in yours.