The place in my heart where my love used to flourish for you is now a barren and desolate cave filled with an emptiness made up of hate and resentment.
Silhouettes of our memories and moments together scorched onto the walls as though a sudden explosion devastated all we had hoped for and left only the ashes of a love failed.
A sudden ravaging through flashes of passion, rage, laughter, and tears.
Spiraling and compacting into a sphere before combusting and leaving a condemned silence in a space that has now become somber and still; filled with air that is stagnant and poisoned.
The memories I’ve earned in the places of the earth I’ve learned to love and grow have been shattered and replaced with evocations of our experienced hatred for each other.
I hate this city. I hate these states. Forcing my eyes to be glued shut to avoid taking in the canvas of your course.
I hate you. I loathe you.
My mind tells me you’re a stranger.
My heart tells me you are my home.
My essence tells me I am deserving of more than you could ever offer.
Used; you stole from me and bled dry the kindness I had to offer you.
You invited betrayal into our home; a place meant to be a sacred sanctuary for our love and children where you faulted me for your shortcomings.
Blaming the experiences of your youth and the family that ignored your turmoil as your ground for baseless accusations.
Threatening your own life as a way to keep my heart fastened no matter the lacerations inflicted as you reached and clawed for more of me.
While I shed tears and begged you to embrace me, you amounted me to a rat; worthless to you and distasteful while reaching for me to comfort you like a petulant child.
I forfeited the bairn we envisaged alone, in despair, and wholeheartedly welcomed your progeny as my own only to be provoked into becoming the villain of their youth.
Your selfishness glistens like venom on the teeth of a wolf’s salivating mouth. Further made potent under moonlight.
All of the lavender in the world couldn’t mask the effluvium that floods you and rushes from your cursed body; but I have burned sage and cedar to cleanse you and your lies from the fiber of my being and will forget you exist at all.
You will always remember that I remain.
an invitation to witness the most sacred parts of me 